The advantages of meditation for children and teens are manifold: physical relaxation, increased concentration, greater self-awareness, an ability to deal positively with stress, strong imaginative and creative skills, enhanced emotional balance, healthy self-esteem, a deeper connection with one’s own centre, the list goes on… Often associated with spiritual paths such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and even Christianity in the form of contemplative prayer, meditation needn’t be considered purely a religious or alternative activity. Its secular uses are becoming more widespread with very basic short-form meditation being used in many primary school classes to help children focus and relax. The younger children learn to meditate, the more natural it will feel to them – a resource they can instinctively turn to throughout life. Even if they reject it through their teen years (ironically, when it may be of greatest use to their turbulent minds and bodies), it will be nestled in their experiences to be dug out later or perhaps incorporated into their current lives without your knowledge – or even their own, if their subconscious employs it subtly enough.
If you haven’t meditated with your children before, you may be wondering where to start and how to get them to sit still for long enough to take part. Meditation needn’t last long. Regular, enjoyable three/five-minute sessions are more beneficial than the occasional fraught half hour begging your bored child to co-operate, and can be increased in length as your child’s concentration span or enthusiasm grows. Don’t expect more from your children than they are capable of, or act disappointed if they don’t respond in the way you’d hoped. To turn meditation into another enforced lesson, parent-pleaser, or externally imposed goal is to defeat the whole object.
But what exactly is meditation? According to a fifth-century Buddhist monk, it is a ‘training of attention’. In their book, Teaching Meditation To Children, David Fontana and Ingrid Slack define it as ‘a state of poised highly directed concentration, focused… upon a single, clearly defined stimulus’. The accompanying article Parenting & Spirituality: Visualisations & Meditations For Children offers some inspiration for this ‘clearly defined stimulus’, although simply sitting, breathing calmly and watching whatever thoughts flit through your mind (without exploring any of them) is enough in itself. Children, however, will often find it easier if they are given something to focus on or a guided visualisation to follow. There are some wonderful books and CDs of guided visualisations for children, which I have listed in the further reading section. For the child who is nervous of ‘failing’ or feels they have too many thoughts to meditate successfully, it can be helpful to remind them of the traditional saying, ‘Lose concentration a thousand time, regain concentration a thousand times, this is a good meditation’.
There need be no special posture for meditation, but be aware that lying down easily induces sleep and sitting slumped doesn’t allow for free flow of breath or energy through the body so a comfortable but upright sitting position (either on a chair or cushioned floor) is often advisable. It is wise to end any meditation with the opportunity to express what has been experienced. Encourage your children to talk, draw or write about any feelings or thoughts that have arisen, or to ask any questions they may have.
Not all children will take to meditating. Some may reject the whole sitting still, going within thing. With them, you may like to try techniques that involve movement and activity. Yoga and tai ch’i are two meditative forms of exercise that children can benefit from physically, emotionally and spiritually. For the real meditation-averse, meditative techniques, visualisation and contemplation can be introduced under the guise of other activities. Often it is more the idea or labelling of an activity that puts children off. So, for example, telling a positive story and encouraging your child to imagine it clearly and put themselves into the character’s shoes is another way of getting them to visualise without labelling it as such. As with anything, don’t push meditation onto children – unless your aim is to put them off it altogether. Let them see you practicing a regular meditation routine yourself and welcome them to join in with you, without showing any desperate desire for their participation!
A meditation pack made for your children could be the inspiration you both need. Cut up pieces of card or stiff paper into approximately the same size as playing cards. On each card, write down an idea for a meditation or visualisation. (The accompanying article Parenting & Spirituality: Visualisations & Meditations For Children will keep you going with a different idea per day for almost a whole month!) Encourage your children to decorate the backs of the cards however they choose. Place the cards in a special bag or box (they could decorate a small cardboard box, such as an old teabag carton or make a suitable sized container by cutting up old cereal boxes and decorating them), perhaps wrapping them in material first (recycled silk or satin would be lovely) so they feel special. Keep this meditation pack somewhere they can access it by themselves in case they fancy exploring meditation without you always knowing about it!
Further Reading
There are some beautiful and inspiring books on sharing meditation and visualisation with children. My top recommendations would be:
Earthlight by Maureen Garth – 25 fun and positive visualisations for young boys and girls. Maureen Garth recommends that all visualisations start with a trip to The Trouble Tree (which I have borrowed in my list of visualisations and meditations for children) and details it beautifully. Great fun and perfect for ages 4-9. The books Moonbeam and Starbright are also in this series.
Teaching Meditation To Children by David Fontana and Ingrid Slack. A parent’s or teachers guide, full of information and practical meditations.
Creative Visualisation With Children by Jennifer Day. A large selection of visualisations for adults to use with children.
Guided Imagery For Healing Children And Teens by Ellen Curran. Written by a nurse, this contains 25 guided visualisations to ease young people through every day ailments, chronic illness, pain management, side effects of chemotherapy, and emotional problems.
All I See Is Part Of Me by Chara M Curtis. This book is a beautifully illustrated meditation in itself.
Relax Kids is a marvellous series of visualisation CDs and books, and affirmation cards for children and teenagers. The visualisations are short, fun and inspiring. Visit www.relaxkids.com for information, products and opportunities to train in running Relax Kids classes.
Wonderful article. My own work has been in teaching children mediation through accessing the power of their imagination to heal themselves and reach their full potential. I’m a Los Angeles based child educational psychologist and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA. I invite you to my website to listen to various guided meditation CDs I’ve created and my new LAT Times best selling book The Power of Your Child’s IMagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success (Perigee/Penguin) at http://www.ImageryForKids.com
Here’s a list of guided mediation CDs available at http://www.ImageryForKids.com: Discovering Your Special Place, Creating a Magical Garden and Healing Pond, Climbing a Mountain of Success, The Nine Foundation Tools. The Power of Your Child’s Imagination (Double CD), The Cave of Great Wisdom (for parent support) all by Charlotte Reznick PhD Author of The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success (Perigee/Penguin, 2009).